Category Pregnancy Journal

I never admit when I am wrong, because face it, I am never wrong! Well, this time I was very wrong. A few months ago I was struggling with my emotions, I think a lot of it had to do with being in school, running a house, and being pregnant. I was overwhelmed and really just couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was terrified to have another baby. I said “I don’t think I will ever be able to love another baby as much as I love Xavier”.

I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG.

I cannot get over how much I love this little boy. I love them both equally, but yet in different ways. I can already tell the personalities of both boys are different, and it amazes me how different yet alike they are...

Ugh pregnancy decisions are so much harder because hormones are involved. I haven’t blogged in so long, but starting tomorrow I plan to get caught up…I promise. Tomorrow is my last final for A&P so I will have more time to actually write and blog and get my feelings out there. I really miss blogging because it it my own little outlet.

What has Nikki Craddock been up to besides being a mom, student, wife, incubator? LOL. Studying and praying I get a “C” in Anatomy (which doesn’t look likely) so I do not have to take it again in the summer, but oh well…this mama is tired.

Soo…because I have been so caught up in school I haven’t really got to think. Literally, I have not got to sit down and really think about dates and baby and everything that involves having a new baby...

OH WOW…I knew school was going to take up all my time, but honestly I didn’t know it would take up so much that I wouldn’t be able to blog like I love to do. I really was hoping to document this whole pregnancy. I am going to really try to get caught up on all the posts I want to post and update within the next few weeks. Well, let me catch up!

First off, this mama is now 30 weeks pregnant…can you believe it? I have only gained 4lbs at my last doctors appointment, which I was very excited about but I have my 30 week appointment this Friday and I know that is going change. About a week ago my hunger has sky rocketed, especially at night and I just want to eat anything and everything. I am holding back and really trying to keep it healthy, but I let some things slide. I think the last time I...

In February I had a loss at around 6 weeks pregnant. I do not know if the pregnancy even made it to 6 weeks…the dates were off from the beginning and I just knew deep down something wasn’t adding up. All in all, it was hell…but I got through it. It messed with me, but I got over it, one thing that I didn’t think about was getting pregnant again. I thought I would get pregnant again and it would be fine, a new pregnancy I wouldn’t think about the loss. That is the farthest from the truth and I do not think anyone can understand that unless they have had a loss themselves.

I have a lot of people that keep asking me about the baby and sometimes I just get so overwhelmed because I am 20 weeks pregnant, the baby is healthy and always moving around but I cannot bring myself to get attatched to h...

I am now a little over 20 weeks pregnant! I cannot believe I am able to say that I am halfway through! It feels good…but still scary, I will have a post about that later tonight, because I really do need to talk about that….but this is a happy post! Last week we found out we were having a healthy little BOY! I am super excited because I wanted a boy soo bad! Everyone in my family was sure it was a girl, but I think they wanted a girl for the obvious dresses and pink reason, but not me…I wanted Xavier to have a little brother. I just wanted a boy so bad I couldn’t take it. When I saw “male” being typed out on the screen I was overcome with joy.

What is going on with the pregnancy…I am still 156lbs…LOVE IT! I haven’t gained anything...

During the first trimester I was so worried if the baby was going to stick, and be healthy I didn’t care about the gender of the baby. I just wanted to know he/she was going to be healthy and happy. Now that I am over 18 weeks and pretty sure everything is okay with the baby I am starting to get excited to find out the gender.

I made my appointment for my big Ultra Sound then got to thinking…how fun would a “gender reveal” party be? I planned everything, I even made the invites to the party...

All I want to do is be able to eat one meal without feeling sick. Seriously, I just want to be able to eat one meal period. I am having the hardest time with this pregnancy and getting in food and most importantly…calories. Normal people are like “aww poor thing needs to eat all day” but if you try to eat all day with a stomach the size of your thumb and whatever you eat throwing your sugar levels off enough to make you sick…it is impossible.

So, I am sitting here almost 17 weeks pregnant and I got in maybe 650 calories so far today, and it is 8:30pm. I bought my favorite Phad Thai for dinner…it smells soo good, I literally eat 2 bites feel full/sick have to wait 1/2 hour until that passes, eat 2 more bites and wait… do you know how hard that is? I just want to eat...

Before I got pregnant I read a lot of about women getting pregnant after gastric bypass. My doctor does not recommend it until 18 months post op, at least. Do I trust him? Completely. Did I completely listen…almost. I figured a few months off wouldn’t hurt since I am very strict with my diet and exercise and I felt comfortable with my decision. I have read that women have gotten pregnant a few months post op, even a year post op and I always looked at them as irresponsible, not just to themselves but to the baby. I mean, I did this surgery to get healthy, and honestly at the time of surgery my husband and I did not want more kids.

What changed my mind about wanting kids? I was over a year post op and down to almost my goal weight...

I do not even know where to begin about the last few days. The last few days have been good days but also days of hell when it came to my health. Women, don’t you hate it when you are not taken seriously when it comes to problems that you are having? I am so sick of it, it happened to me over 4 years ago and almost killed me, and now it is happening again and I am to the point I want to throw my hands up in the air and say “fuck it, you win” .

It started Sunday night, the night of the Alice Cooper concert (that is going to be a different post, with pictures) anyway, during the concert I started to get chest pains. I sat down and they seemed to get better, but it felt like a ton of bricks on my chest, and it was harder for me to breath, but they got better and I didn’t think too much of it...

I have been going crazy not having a blog to write in! I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I couldn’t update. i mean, I guess I could of still updated, but it just didn’t feel right when my blog was not working correctly. I am slowly getting it back to normal, but for now this is going to have to do. I have just been way to busy to get it perfect. I promise, it will be soon!

What has Nikki Craddock been up to? Growing a baby, school, being a mommy, maid, cook….you name it. I went through a phase of being so sick for a good 4 weeks. I couldn’t keep pretty much anything down. As of today, I feel better. I know I am not 100% okay, but I am like 97% as of right now. I didn’t realize how bad morning sickness could get until I had it that bad...